STRONG WOMEN

 

Inspiring quote: Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.

Even though we still have quite a ways to go before the gender gap is closed entirely in this country, right now is the most female-friendly it’s ever been. That’s because there were many strong women who stood up, spoke up, and fought for us. But our progress shouldn’t stop there. Like it or not, ready or not, we are the influencers of our future leaders so it’s important to help guide and support them. Girls need to grow up in environments that promote positive self image and self esteem. They need to be able to recognize when they are being treated poorly and not allow it. They have to know that other people’s opinions don’t matter as much as their own. When girls are secure within, they can feel good about the choices they make. They’re more capable of finding the courage to advocate for themselves and for others.

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EMPOWER, NOT LIMIT, MY CHILD

 

This is the look of disappointment that my dinosaur obsessed autistic teen, Aiden, had when he found a mistake on one of his dinosaur trading cards. He said it was mislabeled and it bothered him. I didn’t doubt him. He’s incredibly knowledgeable about dinosaurs, but we Googled it anyway and sure enough, he was right. I don’t remember exactly when his love of dinos began but it’s been several years now. His room is filled with them, as are his books and DVD collection. So it really was no surprise when he started telling me that he wants to become a paleontologist. I was so happy just to know that he had a career aspiration of any kind.

So, if becoming a paleontologist was his goal then it would now be my goal to help him get there. I did the research on paleontological careers and they are no easy feat, PhDs are required! Now, I’m all about education but this was frightening to me. I knew that he didn’t understand the gravity of how much schooling was actually involved so I explained it to him. Several times, over several months. I even looked into other dinosaur/fossil related careers that didn’t involve doctoral degrees and shared them with him, but all of our lengthy conversations always ended the same way, with him still wanting to be a paleontologist.

I wasn’t sure what pursuing college would entail for Aiden but he was in high school now so, naturally, I figured I could get help from the school. This wasn’t the case. At his first IEP meeting they told me that they had zero intention of preparing him for college. Their major focus was on developing and improving life skills. I was stunned and confused. They were lowering their expectations of him even after I shared what his goal was. Wasn’t the purpose of the IEP to design a program of services and supports for his specific needs? I mean I have, and always will, assist him in learning life skills but helping him prepare for college is what teachers and therapists should be doing. You know, professionals who are educated in educating? But they were not entertaining this idea. Instead they (in a roundabout way) encouraged me to discourage him from trying to go down this road. I was so taken aback by this that I actually did take time to second guess myself and what I was trying to help him do. That didn’t last long though. I have never lowered the bar for Aiden in his lifetime. He has come such a long way from where he started and it was never easy. Why should I put limits on his growth now and keep him from reaching for more?

Thankfully, his 2nd year IEP meeting went much better. He has a new team and a wonderful new case manager who understands where he is currently and supports where he wants to be. Even though she, personally, has never been down this road with an autistic student before, she wants him to have the same opportunity for success that every student is entitled to and she is doing all she can to help him achieve just that. I cannot express what a difference having even just one person really support him is!

Now, I understand very well that I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know if Aiden will be able to get through college or if it will just end up being too overwhelming for him. I also don’t know if his career goals and desires will end up changing to something completely different. But what I do know is that he deserves the chance to explore his future and find out for himself. And it’s my responsibility to empower him to believe in himself and his abilities, to help him realize his dreams.

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